Friday, December 25, 2009

Math Jokes

Ada banyak sekali humor singkat tentang matematika. Langsung menuju TKP aja, gan. XD

1. Mengapa ahli matematika selalu kebingungan dalam membedakan Natal dan Halloween?
2. What's purple and commutative?
3. Sebutkan 10 jenis tipe manusia yang ada di dunia!

Jawab: (harus diblok)
1. Karena 25 dec = 31oct.
Bilangan 25 dalam desimal adalah sama dengan bilangan 31 dalam oktal.
2. Abelian grape.
Abelian berarti komutatif.
3. Mereka yang mengetahui binary dan yang tidak..
10 dalam binary adalah 2 dalam desimal.

Humor di atas kelihatannya garing, apalagi bagi yang gak tw istilah-istilah matematika. Huahuahua. Eit. Tunggu dulu. Humornya gak berhenti sampai di situ saja. Cekidot ni di bawah ini.. . Masih banyak yang perlu disimak.. Kalau bingung mengenai humornya, silakan blok penjelasan yang ada di bawahnya.. Maap kalo humornya dalam inggris, soalnya kebanyakan pake istilah inggris dan pengucapan inggris, tapi tentunya gak masalah kan bagi pembaca semua. Kan inggrisnya jago-jago.. XD. :)

Natural Logs
Q. Why do mathematicians like national parks?
A. Because of the natural logs.
Natural logs adalah istilah logaritma natural, yang bisa juga dikatakan sebagai batang kayu yang alami (log = kayu).

Person 1: What's the integral of 1/cabin?
Person 2: A natural log cabin.
Person 1: No, a houseboat – you forgot to add the c!

Kita tahu bahwa integral 1/x adalah ln x. Maka, integral dari 1/ cabin adalah ln cabin (logaritma natural dari cabin). Namun, karena hasil dari integral tak tentu harus ditambahkan C (diucapkan seperti "sea"), maka cabin + sea = houseboat.

Mathematician and other professions
Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?"
The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7"
The physicist said: "It is 3.14159"
The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "It is equal to pi".
(A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!" )
Pi dibaca sama seperti "pie" dalam bahasa inggris.

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."

An analyst, a pure mathematician, and a statistician apply for a job. The interviewer asks each of them the question "What is 1/3 multiplied by 3?" The analyst enters it into his calculator and replies that the answer is 0.9999999. The pure mathematician replies that the answer is obviously 1. Then, the statistician asks the interviewer "What do you want it to be?"

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one sheep, at least one side of which looks black."

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.

A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer went again to the races and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer says, "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run..."
The physicist interrupted him: "...but you didn't take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest probability of winning..."
" if you're so hot why are you broke?" asked the engineer. But before the argument can grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe and they get a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. They both demanded to know his secret.
"Well," he says, "first I assumed all the horses were identical and spherical..."

A mathematician and a Wall street broker went to races. The broker suggested to bet $10,000 on a horse. The mathematician was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince the mathematician.
"You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed:
"I told you, I knew the secret!"
"What is your secret?" the mathematician asked.
"It is rather easy. I have two kids, three and five year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine."
"But, three and five is eight," the mathematician protested.
"I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied, "Haven't I just shown experimentally, that my calculation is correct! 3+5=9!"

Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"
The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".
The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: "I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!".
Philosopher smiles: "But what do you mean by 2 * 2 ?"
Logician replies: "Please define 2 * 2 more precisely."
The sociologist: "I don't know, but is was nice talking about it".
Behavioral Ecologist: "A polygamous mating system".
Medical Student : "4" All others looking astonished : "How did you know ??" Medical Student : :I memorized it."

A physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all time. The physicist chose the fire, which gave humanity the power over matter. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes -- so what?"
"Think about it." said the mystic reverently. That little bottle -- how does it *know*?"

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said "I declare myself to be on the outside."

A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the prize is an infinite amount of money. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."

Top Ten Excuses for Not Doing Homework
1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee.
10. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.

+ I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

Weird Math Answers
Premise I: Knowledge is power.
Premise II: Power corrupts.
Conclusion: Therefore, knowledge corrupts.

Premise I: Nobody's perfect
Premise II: I am nobody
Conclusion: So, I'm perfect!!

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9. (a pun on "7 ate 9")

Here is proof that women = evil:
Women are the product of time and money:
Time is money: time = money
So women are money squared women = money2
Money is the root of all evil:
So women are absolutely evil:

Salary Theorem
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time
And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money
It is therefore true that =
Knowledge = Work / Money .
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.

Sebetulnya, masih banyak lelucon matematika *konyol* lainnya. Yang ditulis di sini hanya sebagian kecil saja... Untuk lebih lengkapnya, lihat aja sumber-sumber di bawah. Bacanya pelan-pelan aja, sebagai pengantar tidur, dijamin 1 tahun gak bakal habis. Wakakak. :)

Btw, lelucon mana yang paling lucu bagi kalian? XD


  1. Money = Work / Knowledge
    rasanya di dunia nyata emang bener seperti itu deh... ;p

  2. premis 1: Jika saya lapar, maka saya makan
    premis 2: Jika saya makan, maka saya kenyang

    Jadi...: Jika saya lapar, maka saya kenyang...????

  3. check this:

  4. numpang copy-paste ya gan...

  5. haha.. mantab juga joke matematik nya

  6. One of the best ways to prevent hair loss is to prevent your
    hair from tangling, so it's best that you use a very soft pillow when you're sleeping.
    Do your best to avoid alcohol. Protective Treatment Spray.

    my website :: har vokse Scam

  7. Once you've your chat profiles ready, (Yahoo, AIM, etc. Do not underestimate a shy woman as you will only see gorgeousness, once exposed. I'll probably
    never become accustomed to chatting, within my work room,
    with someone twelve thousand miles away in Indonesia.

    my weblog; Porn Streaming

  8. I comment when I like a article on a site or if I have
    something to valuable to contribute to the conversation.
    Usually it's a result of the fire displayed in the article I looked at. And on this post "Math Jokes". I was actually moved enough to leave a comment ;) I do have 2 questions for you if you tend not to mind. Could it be only me or do a few of these remarks appear like they are written by brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are writing on other social sites, I'd like to keep up with everything fresh you have to post.
    Could you list every one of all your social pages like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or
    linkedin profile?

    Also visit my webpage :: phen375 reviews

  9. Link exchange is nothing else however it is just placing the other person's webpage link on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do same in favor of you.

    Feel free to surf to my webpage ... Authentic Evgeni Malkin Jersey

  10. Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification appeared
    to be on the net the simplest thing to be aware
    of. I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people consider worries that they plainly don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

    Also visit my blog post :: Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet

  11. Hi, I read your new stuff like every week. Your story-telling style is witty, keep it up!

    My web-site: Abercrombie Pas Cher

  12. Magnificent goods from you, man. I've understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely great. I actually like what you've acquired here, really like
    what you're stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it smart. I can't
    wait to read much more from you. This is really a tremendous web site.

    My website :: Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet

  13. Have you ever thought about publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other blogs?
    I have a blog based on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information.
    I know my readers would enjoy your work.
    If you're even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an email.

    Here is my webpage: Wholesale NFL Jerseys

  14. Hello, I would like to subscribe for this blog
    to take most up-to-date updates, so where can i do it please help.

    my web-site: Solde Air Jordan

  15. It's remarkable for me to have a website, which is beneficial designed for my experience. thanks admin

    Look at my web blog; Louis Vuitton Outlet

  16. Hello! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from
    an established blog. Is it hard to set up your own blog?
    I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I'm thinking about setting up my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? With thanks

    Also visit my site; sac louis vuitton pas cher

  17. I quite like looking through an article that will make people
    think. Also, thank you for allowing me to comment!

    Have a look at my blog post

  18. Very soon this site will be famous amid all blog visitors, due to it's nice content

    Here is my webpage ... Get More Information

  19. Howdy excellent website! Does running a blog like this require
    a lot of work? I've absolutely no understanding of computer programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Anyway, should you have any ideas or tips for new blog owners please share. I know this is off subject nevertheless I just wanted to ask. Thanks!

    Here is my homepage - binary options guide **

  20. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like
    you wrote the book in it or something. I think that
    you can do with a few pics to drive the message home
    a little bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog.
    A great read. I will certainly be back.

    Feel free to visit my webpage - how to make money online fast

  21. obviously like your website but you have to
    take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts.
    Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I to
    find it very bothersome to tell the reality then again I will surely come back again.

    Here is my homepage: Sac Louis Vuitton

  22. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources
    back to your weblog? My blog is in the very same niche as yours and my users would certainly benefit from a lot of the
    information you provide here. Please let me know if this alright with you.


    my homepage - fla flash giochi porn

  23. Hey, I think your site might be having browser
    compatibility issues. When I look at your website in
    Chrome, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer,
    it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
    Other then that, great blog!

    Look at my web page: Chaussures De Foot :: ::

  24. Blogging is the new poetry. I find it wonderful and amazing in many ways.