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Friday, December 25, 2009

Math Jokes

Ada banyak sekali humor singkat tentang matematika. Langsung menuju TKP aja, gan. XD

1. Mengapa ahli matematika selalu kebingungan dalam membedakan Natal dan Halloween?
2. What's purple and commutative?
3. Sebutkan 10 jenis tipe manusia yang ada di dunia!

Jawab: (harus diblok)
1. Karena 25 dec = 31oct.
Bilangan 25 dalam desimal adalah sama dengan bilangan 31 dalam oktal.
2. Abelian grape.
Abelian berarti komutatif.
3. Mereka yang mengetahui binary dan yang tidak..
10 dalam binary adalah 2 dalam desimal.

Humor di atas kelihatannya garing, apalagi bagi yang gak tw istilah-istilah matematika. Huahuahua. Eit. Tunggu dulu. Humornya gak berhenti sampai di situ saja. Cekidot ni di bawah ini.. . Masih banyak yang perlu disimak.. Kalau bingung mengenai humornya, silakan blok penjelasan yang ada di bawahnya.. Maap kalo humornya dalam inggris, soalnya kebanyakan pake istilah inggris dan pengucapan inggris, tapi tentunya gak masalah kan bagi pembaca semua. Kan inggrisnya jago-jago.. XD. :)

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Natural Logs
Q. Why do mathematicians like national parks?
A. Because of the natural logs.
Natural logs adalah istilah logaritma natural, yang bisa juga dikatakan sebagai batang kayu yang alami (log = kayu).

Person 1: What's the integral of 1/cabin?
Person 2: A natural log cabin.
Person 1: No, a houseboat – you forgot to add the c!

Kita tahu bahwa integral 1/x adalah ln x. Maka, integral dari 1/ cabin adalah ln cabin (logaritma natural dari cabin). Namun, karena hasil dari integral tak tentu harus ditambahkan C (diucapkan seperti "sea"), maka cabin + sea = houseboat.


Mathematician and other professions
Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?"
The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7"
The physicist said: "It is 3.14159"
The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "It is equal to pi".
(A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!" )
Pi dibaca sama seperti "pie" dalam bahasa inggris.


A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."


An analyst, a pure mathematician, and a statistician apply for a job. The interviewer asks each of them the question "What is 1/3 multiplied by 3?" The analyst enters it into his calculator and replies that the answer is 0.9999999. The pure mathematician replies that the answer is obviously 1. Then, the statistician asks the interviewer "What do you want it to be?"


An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one sheep, at least one side of which looks black."


An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.


A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer went again to the races and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer says, "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run..."
The physicist interrupted him: "...but you didn't take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest probability of winning..."
"...so if you're so hot why are you broke?" asked the engineer. But before the argument can grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe and they get a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. They both demanded to know his secret.
"Well," he says, "first I assumed all the horses were identical and spherical..."


A mathematician and a Wall street broker went to races. The broker suggested to bet $10,000 on a horse. The mathematician was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince the mathematician.
"You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed:
"I told you, I knew the secret!"
"What is your secret?" the mathematician asked.
"It is rather easy. I have two kids, three and five year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine."
"But, three and five is eight," the mathematician protested.
"I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied, "Haven't I just shown experimentally, that my calculation is correct! 3+5=9!"


Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"
The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".
The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: "I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!".
Philosopher smiles: "But what do you mean by 2 * 2 ?"
Logician replies: "Please define 2 * 2 more precisely."
The sociologist: "I don't know, but is was nice talking about it".
Behavioral Ecologist: "A polygamous mating system".
Medical Student : "4" All others looking astonished : "How did you know ??" Medical Student : :I memorized it."


A physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all time. The physicist chose the fire, which gave humanity the power over matter. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes -- so what?"
"Think about it." said the mystic reverently. That little bottle -- how does it *know*?"


A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.


One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said "I declare myself to be on the outside."


A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the prize is an infinite amount of money. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."


Top Ten Excuses for Not Doing Homework
1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee.
10. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.

+ I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.


Weird Math Answers
Premise I: Knowledge is power.
Premise II: Power corrupts.
Conclusion: Therefore, knowledge corrupts.

Premise I: Nobody's perfect
Premise II: I am nobody
Conclusion: So, I'm perfect!!

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9. (a pun on "7 ate 9")







Here is proof that women = evil:
Women are the product of time and money:
Time is money: time = money
So women are money squared women = money2
Money is the root of all evil:
So women are absolutely evil:


Salary Theorem
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time
And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money
It is therefore true that =
Knowledge = Work / Money .
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.

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Sebetulnya, masih banyak lelucon matematika *konyol* lainnya. Yang ditulis di sini hanya sebagian kecil saja... Untuk lebih lengkapnya, lihat aja sumber-sumber di bawah. Bacanya pelan-pelan aja, sebagai pengantar tidur, dijamin 1 tahun gak bakal habis. Wakakak. :)

Btw, lelucon mana yang paling lucu bagi kalian? XD

24 comments:

  1. Money = Work / Knowledge
    rasanya di dunia nyata emang bener seperti itu deh... ;p

    ReplyDelete
  2. premis 1: Jika saya lapar, maka saya makan
    premis 2: Jika saya makan, maka saya kenyang

    Jadi...: Jika saya lapar, maka saya kenyang...????

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  3. check this:
    http://mathworld.wolfram.com/images/gifs/FoxTrotMathTest.jpg

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  4. numpang copy-paste ya gan...

    ReplyDelete
  5. haha.. mantab juga joke matematik nya

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